Pregnancy... What's It Really Like?

Whether you've ever experienced it or not, there are a few things that immediately come to mind when you think of pregnancy-

• A sweet, growing belly

• Feeling your new little babe kick

• No. More. Periods. amirite

These are really great things. But what is it REALLY like? Since no two pregnancies are ever the same, I took to social media to get responses from friends about symptoms that came as a complete shock to them and let me tell you...you will be SHOCKED too. I have been pregnant twice now and some of these things I forced out of my memory bank...and for a good reason. Here is what they said (side note- if you're a man and you're reading this...you might just want to stop now. Don't say I didn't warn you.) :

1. The indigestion... I have never experienced this in my life until I became pregnant. I would be sleeping and immediately shoot out of bed and run to the bathroom because there is literal throw up in my mouth and I needed to spit it out. Yum. And EVERYTHING caused it. I could drink water and I'd have indigestion. Not literally, but you get it.

2. Sensitive nipples... This happens in the very beginning and is one of the first symptoms I ever noticed. If anything ever touched them, it felt like I just got my nipples pierced and I became very dramatic. My husband really loved this (not).

3. Growing nipples... Yes you read that right. Not only do your boobs grow (which we all know and love), but so do your NIPPLES. The areola grows larger and the actual nipple gets bigger and it all gets DARKER. A very hilarious friend of mine said she literally thought she was going to produce chocolate milk.

4. Gas... Yes it's gross but it's a THING and it's the WORST. This is one thing no one ever warned me about... the pregnant poots. It is constant and it is stinky and I'll just leave it at that. There is no hiding it. I always said I could not imaging getting pregnant by someone I barely knew and having no choice but to toot in front of them. I would have been humiliated.

5. The constant discharge... We're all women here, right? So it's no secret that it's normal during our cycle to have some discharge. Pregnancy really says "hold my beer" and it is every single day during your entire pregnancy and it is a lot of it.

6. Sensitivity to smell... I think this one is a commonly known symptom. Your sense of smell is heightened and certain things that used to not bother you, might. Let me elaborate- It is very possible that pre-pregnancy, it did not bother you to be in the same house that spaghetti was being cooked in, but during pregnancy, you can smell beef being cooked a mile away and it's the most disgusting smell you've ever smelled. No more spaghetti...maybe ever.

7. Extreme thirst... No water is ever enough. Trust me.

8. Changing hair... First of all, your hair grows at a much faster rate and hardly any of it ever falls out. You will never have prettier hair than you do while pregnant. BUT... it might change texture. You used to have dry, curly hair? Congratulations, you now have oily, wavy hair.

9. Stuffy nose... This is probably my most-hated symptom. Your nasal cavity literally swells because of hormones. Good luck breathing, like ever.

10. Lightning crotch... What's this, you might ask? Well it is exactly as it sounds. It literally feels like a random bolt of lightning or an electric shock shoots through your vajeen, and it does not feel good.

11. Lack of energy... Boy oh boy that first trimester tiredness is a kind of tired you didn't know existed. When I was pregnant with my first child, I took like 3 naps a day. When I was pregnant with my second and had a toddler running around, I took naps like once a day and my toddler was awake for probably half of those. Kidding. Kinda.

12. Vision changes... I wish I could say your vision will improve but that would be a lie. If you experience vision changes, it is for the worse and you might need to get an exam.

13. Feet changes... Like above, I wish I could say the texture improves or pain disappears or something great like that, but that would also be a lie. If your feet change, it is because they grew. I know someone whose feet grew 2 sizes and none of her shoes fit anymore. Tragic.

14. Constipation... This really s(t)ucks. Haha...get it? Sorry.

15. Skin tags... These can develop in really unfortunate places (thanks again, hormones) and it's typically in the armpit or near the vajeenie. If it IS on the good stuff, you can probably just ask your doctor to remove it while he's cleaning you up post-delivery. If you're one of the few people who didn't grow skin tags, congratulations...you must be God's favorite.

16. Dry skin... No lotion will ever be enough for those dry, cracked toes and it's just something you'll have to accept about yourself.

17. The cravings... So this is something that is widely talked about but let me throw you for a loop here. Did you know you can actually crave inedible things? BELIEVE IT BUDDY because I sure did! In my first pregnancy, I craved dirt. Actual dirt from the ground. I could walk outside and the smell overwhelmed my nose (refer back to #6) and I wanted nothing more than to bury my face in the dirt and eat mouthfuls. I didn't...but I wanted to. I also know someone who craved laundry detergent. You can't eat those things unfortunately, but it sure is fun to smell them.

All of those things sound kinda awful...I know. But I'm here to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth and even though all of things can occur during pregnancy, remember that I said no two pregnancies are the same. Just because one person experienced it doesn't mean you will. Plus, let's not forget all the GREAT things about it...like NO MORE PERIODS, napping is acceptable, you have great hair, your boobs will look awesome, the baby kicks, your sex drive will be through the roof, better complexion, your nails get stronger, you'll have vivid dreams...should I go on?

The list of unfortunate symptoms may seem...er...unfortunate, but at the end you get to meet the beautiful life you've created and suddenly, it all seems worth it. And I promise you... the good parts of pregnancy will far outweigh the bad.